Monster-in-law?
Comedians don't always talk about mother-in-laws for nothing... anyone who has one knows how difficult the relationship can be.
And according to new research, the old cliché of men clashing with their mother-in-laws has been hiding another uncomfortable truth... a lot of women can't stand their mother in laws either!
That's why Chris Best is appealing to you to vent your torture, share your pain and, hopefully, feel a little better.
Dr Terri Apter, a psychologist at Newnham College, Cambridge, has spent 20 years researching mother-in-law/daughter-in-law battles. She interviewed 49 couples and 156 other people, and drew on past studies to compile her new book, What Do You Want From Me?
Some of the problems that she uncovered stem from the fact that the new wife takes over traditionally maternal roles like cooking, cleaning and children's welfare. Her advice is to show appreciation of your in-law. She says that deals with their need for reassurance, which she believes to be behind their acting out.
But for those who need a little extra help with their mother-in-law... there is a website devoted to in-laws woe!
Patricia Weber, who founded the mother-in-law advice website and DILS (Daughter-in-law sisterhood), thinks there are some things you can do to make the situation better.
Here are her top tips:
1, Stop looking for acceptance. Women who are dealing with problematic mother-in-laws often feel frustrated because they have tried to be nice but nothing seems to work. If you continue to look for acceptance from someone who doesn't want to give it, it will start taking a toll on your well being and your husband.
2, Take a look at yourself first. When you have been dealing with a difficult mother-in-law, it is very easy to become overly sensitive and defensive towards everything she says and you could very well be taking things the wrong way. Give her the benefit of the doubt before you react.
3, Talk to her and tell her how you feel. You would be surprised by how many issues this can resolve. You've been building up resentment towards her yet perhaps you haven't told her what is upsetting you in a calm way.
Women who log on to Patricia's website share problems and give each other advice. It seems that as the old adage says, a problem shared is a problem halved!
So, let us know if you have any stories to share...
And, we wouldn't want to presume that all mother-in-laws are monsters... let us know if your mother-in-law is an angel too.
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